SRB
Suočena svakodnevno sa slučajevima porodičnog nasilja, Šćekić je za Medijski istraživački centar izjavila da su najpotresnije scene u Sigurnoj kući upravo one kada starije žene dolaze u tu ustanovu. Za protekle dve godine bilo ih 11, od ukupno oko 250 zbrinutih žena i dece.
Šćekić ističe da su, kada je u pitanju nasilje nad ženama starijim od 65 godina, nasilnici uglavnom sin ili ćerka žrtve, a potom sadašnji ili bivši suprug. Najčešće su nasilnici, govori Šćekić, zavisnici od alkohola i psihoaktivnih supstanci.
Da su starije žene uglavnom žrtve svoje odrasle dece i muževa pokazuju i podaci Centra za socijalni rad. Ta ustanova je u periodu od januara do oktobra ove godine registrovala 49 slučajeva zlostavljanja starijih žena, a u 19 slučajeva nasilnici su bila njihova deca. U 12 slučajeva nasilnici su supružnici ili bivši partneri, a u 10 osto slučajeva nasilnici su bili drugi srodnici.
Sonja Šćekić
Doktorka Doma zdravlja u Nišu i koordinator Tima za pomoć ženama koje su žrtve porodičnog nasilja u toj ustanovi Lucija Hiristov Mitić istakla je za Medijski istraživački centar da je za nasilje nad ženama karakteristično to da žrtve veoma dugo trpe nasilje pre nego što o njemu progovore.
Prema njenim rečima, dosadašnje iskustvo zaposlenih u niškom Domu zdravlja pokazuje da obično prodje od devet do 11 godina dok žena prizna lekaru, rodjacima ili prijateljima da je žrtva porodičnog nasilja.
„Imali smo pacijentkinju koja je priznala da je maltene čitavog života bila žrtva porodičnog nasilja. Ispričala nam je da ju je suprug tukao godinama, čak i nekoliko poslednjih dana pre smrti. Nije mogao da ustaje iz kreveta, ali kada god bi ona prišla da ga nahrani ili presvuče udarao ju je štapom“, rekla je Hristov Mitić.
Da starije žene jako teško prijavljuju nasilje, naročito ako su nasilnici njihova deca pokazuje i svakodnevna praksa zaposlenih u Osnovnom javnom tužilaštvu.
Prema rečima advokatice Maje Gluščević najznačajnije novine koje je 1. juna ove godine uveo novi Zakon o sprečavanju nasilja u porodici, jesu pravo žrtve porodičnog nasilja na besplatnu pravnu pomoć, pravo na obaveštenje i obaveza Centra za socijalni rad da izradi individualni plan pomoći i zaštite žrtve. Gluščević je kazala da su svi advokati dužni da besplatno pomognu žrtvi porodičnog nasilja i da je obaveste koje su njena prava i mogućnosti za sprečavanje nasilja. Ona je kazala da Zakon o sprečavanju porodičnog nasilja ima za cilj prevenciju nasilja i sprečavanje da nasilje eskalira.
„Žrtve obično jako teško prijavljuju nasilje, a i kada ga prijave, vrlo je često odustajanje od daljeg učestvovanja u postupku što zaista otežava rad pravosudnim organima“, kazala je zamenik Osnovnog javnog tužilaštva Tatjana Stevanović.
Ona je istakla da se, kada je reč o porodičnom nasilju nad starijim osobama, uglavnom radi o ženama čiji su muževi preminulu, a nasilnici su sinovi.
„Moje dosadašnje iskustvo pokazuje da se obično se radi o udovicama i sinovima koji su se razveli i vratili u roditeljski dom. U takvim situacijama sinovi smatraju da celokupna imovina treba da pripadne njima, a zapravo su stanovi vlasništvo majke. Oni borave u tim stanovima ali ni na koji način se ne brinu o majkama. Sa druge strane očekuju da im majke budu na usluzi sve vreme, a da im se pri tom „sklanjaju s puta“ u svakom smislu te reči“, istakla je Stevanović.
Gradjanke A. Dj. i S. M. koje su se obratile redakciji Medijskog istraživačkog centra nakon serije objavljenih tekstova o porodičnom nasilju nad starijim ženama, istakle su da i same znaju za slučajeve zlostavljanja starijih žena, ali da ne znaju kako da im pomognu.
A. Dj. kazala je da njena komšinica stara 87 godina svakodnevno trpi psihološko nasilje, a nasilnici su njen sin, snaja i unuka. Starica medjutim, ne želi da ih prijavi, niti dozvoljava da bilo ko drugi to učini umesto nje.
„Komšinica mi se vrlo brzo posle smrti supruga požalila da je sin, snaja i unuka nazivaju najpogrdnijim imenima, i prete joj kada god se sretnu u hodniku. Oni žive u istoj kući - baka u prizemlju, a sin sa porodicom na prvom spratu. Ranijih godina takodje nisu bili dobri i pažljivi prema njoj, ali su se stvari naglo pogoršale kada joj je umro suprug. Glavni razlog je prizemlje kuće u kome baka živi. Sin i snaja priželjkuju da ga dobiju što pre kako bi ga izdavali. Pokušali su da izvrše pritisak na staricu da se preseli u starački dom, ali je ona to odbila i od tada nema mira“, kazala je A. Dj.
Prema njenim rečima, uzaludni su svi pokušaji da se starica nagovori da prijavi sina, snaju i unuku.
„Baka uporno govori da bi pre umrla nego što bi ih prijavila, jer su kaže „njeni“. Kaže da ne zna šta bi sa njima bilo ukoliko bi ih prijavila, gde bi se odselili kada nemaju drugi dom. Takodje kaže da se ne bi uopšte obazirala kada bi je samo snaja maltretirala, ali ne može nikako da preboli to što je maltretira sin koga je rodila, othranila i kome je, “sa deset prstiju”, podigla krov nad glavom“, izjavila je A. Dj.
S. M. kazala je za Medijski istraživački centar da je sasvim sigurna da je njena osamdesetogodišnja komšinica žrtva porodičnog nasilja jer svakodnevno čuje šta se u njenom stanu dogadja, s obzirom da živi u stanu pored.
„Starica ni za „živu glavu“ neće da prizna da je sin bije i maltretira. Ona je neko vreme nakon smrti supruga živela sama u stanu, a on se doselio nakon što se razveo od žene. Stalno viče na nju, cela se zgrada trese, a posebno kada se napije. Tada ne samo da viče, nego i baca stvari po kući, verujem da je tada i udara. Verujem da joj je u trenucima pijanstva prošle godine polomio ruku. Bila je u gispu nedeljama, ali je uporno pričala da je polomila ruku tako što je pala niz stepenice. Ne verujem joj, takav prelom može da se zadobije samo kada vas neko nečim jako udari po ruci“, izjavila je S. M.
Na pitanje zbog čega neko od komšija ne prijavi nasilje nad staricom, S. odgovora pitanjem „a ko bi to smeo“.
„Kako smemo da ga prijavimo, znaće odmah da je to učinio neko iz zgrade, jer zgrada nije velika i svi se medjusobno dobro poznajemo. Sumnjamo da ima pištolj, doći će jednog dana i sve će da nas pobije. Ko bi i na sudu dokazao da je on nasilnik. Majka će prva poricati, a niko od stanara ne bi smeo da bilo šta kaže“, naglasila je S. M.
Ona je kazala da je primer komšinice najdrastičniji koji zna, ali sigurno može da pobroji još sigurno desetak starijih žena koje nemaju pažnju dece kakvu zaslužuju. S. kaže da su te starice vrlo nesrećne jer ih deca retko obilaze, nekima uzimaju celu penziju pa ih posle moraju da mole da im kupe lekove, nekima deca nedaju maltene da progovre, ućutkuju ih kad god nešto kažu, smatraju ih ludim i dementnim, iako to nisu.
Piše: Biljana Ljubisavljević
Foto: Saša Đorđević
ENG
Violence against the elderly - the best kept family secret
"Violence against the elderly in Serbia is the best kept family secret, something that happens between the four walls, in the circle of the closest ones, on which the elder ones depend, so that the elderly remain only to suffer and remain silent", is one of the frequently quoted statements when the issue of violence against the elderly is in question, which Sonja Scekic, director of the Safe House in Nis, pronounced at the tribune dedicated to the elderly.
Faced everyday with the cases of domestic violence, Scekic told the Media Research Center that the most upsetting scenes in the Safe House are when older women come to the facility. In the past two years, there were 11 of them, out of a total of about 250 women and children who were taken care of. Šćekić points out that, when it comes to violence against women over the age of 65, abusers are mainly the son or daughter of the victim, and then the present or former husband.
They are mostly violators, says Sćekić, addicts of alcohol and psychoactive substances.
The data of the Center for Social Work also show that older women are mostly victims of their adult children and husbands. In the period between January and October this year, the institution registered 49 cases of abuse of elderly women, and in 19 cases, the perpetrators were their children. In 12 cases, the perpetrators are spouses or former partners, and in 10 percent of cases, the perpetrators were other relatives.
A doctor at the Health Center in Nis and a Team Coordinator for women victims of domestic violence at that institution, Lucija Hiristov Mitić, pointed out to the Media Research Center that for violence against women, it is characteristic that victims have long suffered violence before they speak about it. According to her, the previous experience of the employees in the Niš Health Center shows that it usually lasts from 9 to 11 years when a woman confesses to a doctor, relatives or friends that she is a victim of domestic violence.
"We had a patient who admitted that she was, almost her entire life, a victim of domestic violence. She told us that her husband had been beating her for years, even a few days before her death. He could not get out of bed, but whenever she came to feed or change him, he hit her with a stick, "said Hristov Mitic.
That elderly women very difficult report violence, especially if their children are abusers, also shows the daily practice of employees in the Basic Public Prosecutor's Office. "Victims usually have very difficulties in reporting violence, and even when they report it, the withdrawal from further participation in the proceedings is very often the case, which makes it really difficult for the judicial authorities," said deputy of the Basic Publi Prosecutor’s office, Tatjana Stevanovic.
She pointed out that, when it comes to domestic violence against elderly people, it is mainly about women whose husbands are deceased, and violators are sons.
"My experience so far shows that it is usually about widows and sons who have divorced and returned to their parental home. In such situations, the sons consider that the entire property should belong to them, and in fact the apartments are the property of the mother. They stay in these apartments, but in no way do they care about their mothers. On the other hand, they expect their mothers to be at their service all the time, but to "get out of the way" in every sense of the word, "said Stevanovic.
Citizens A. Dj. and S.M., who addressed the Media Research Center after a series of published articles on domestic violence against older women, noted that they themselves know about cases of abuse of elderly women, but that they do not know how to help them. A. Dj. said that her 87-year-old neighbor suffered psychological violence on a daily basis, and her son, her daughter-in-law and granddaughter were abusers.
The elder, however, does not want to report them, nor does she allow anyone else to do it for her. "My neighbor, very soon after death of her husband, complained to me that her son, her daughter-in-law and granddaughter were calling her with the most immoral names, and threatened her whenever they see her in the corridor.
They live in the same house - the grandmother on the ground floor, and the son with his family on the first floor. In the earlier years, they were also not good and not careful with her, but things went worse when her husband died. The main reason is the ground floor of the house where the grandmother lives.
The son and daughter-in-law want to get it as soon as possible so they can rent it. They tried to put pressure on the old woman to move to a nursing home, but she refused it and since then there is no peace, "said A. Dj.
According to her words, all attempts to urge the old woman to report her son, daughter and granddaughter are futile. "Grandma persistently says she would rather die than report them, because she says they were" her ". She says she does not know what would be with them if she reported them, where they would move when they do not have another home. She also says that she would not even care when her daughter-in-law mistreated her, but she could not overcome the maltreatment of the son she gave birth to, and for whom, "with ten fingers," she raised the roof over his head, " said A. Dj.
S.M. told the Media Research Center that she is quite sure that her eighty-year-old neighbor is a victim of domestic violence because she daily sees what is happening in her apartment, since she lives in the apartment next door.
The old woman will not admit that her son is beating and maltreating her in no case. She lived alone in the apartment for some time after the death of her husband, and he moved after divorcing his wife. He constantly keeps shouting at her, the whole building shakes, and especially when he gets drunk. Then, he not only shouts, but also throws things around the house, and I believe that he then beats her. I believe that in the moments of drunkenness, he broke her arm last year. She was in plaster cast for weeks, but she persistently says she broke her arm by falling down the stairs. I do not believe her, such a break can only be gained when someone hits you hard by hand, "said S. M. On the question, why some of the neighbors do not report violence against the old woman, S. answered with the question "who would dare to do it". "How could we report it, he will know immediately that someone from the building did it because the building is not large and we all know each other well. We suspect that he has a gun, he will come one day and will kill us all. Who would even in the court prove that he is a bully.
The mother will be the first to deny, and none of the tenants would dare to say anything, "she stressed. She said that the example of the neighbor is the most drastic she knows, but she can surely identify more than a dozen older women who do not have the attention of the children they deserve. S. says that these old women are very unhappy because children rarely visit them, they take the entire pension from some of them, and afterwards they have to pray to them to buy them the medicaments they need, some of their children do not even let them speak, they silence them whenever they say something, they are considered crazy and demented, although they are not.
According to lawyer Maja Gluščević, the most important novelties introduced by the new Law on Prevention of Domestic Violence on June 1 this year are the right of victims of domestic violence to free legal aid, the right to information and the obligation of the Center for Social Work to develop an individual assistance plan and protect the victim. Gluscevic said that all attorneys are obliged to help victims of domestic violence free of charge and to inform her about her rights and possibilities for preventing violence. She said that the Law on the Prevention of Domestic Violence aims at preventing violence and preventing the escalation of violence.
text: B. Ljubisavljevic
translation: Mladen Djordjevic
Foto: S. Djordjević
